Personal Enrichment

Mid-way through our walk yesterday my Aunt started to tell me a story about a study that Berkeley did with a group of students back in the 70s or 80s or something. It was about a job they had posted to a group of college students to dig a ditch. About a hundred or so students had showed up to dig this ditch for $7 an hour, a big sum of money back then. They spent all morning digging this ditch and after they came back from their lunch break, they were told they had to fill the ditch back up with soil. They asked “Why?!” and the Supervisor said, “ Don’t ask questions, just do it.” So they did. Before they left the Supervisor told them they’d be doing the exact same thing tomorrow, but they’d get a raise of $12 dollars. The next morning only 60% of the students came back and did the exact same thing. After lunch they were told to fill the ditch back up with dirt. They asked “Why?” and the Supervisor told them “Don’t ask questions, just do it.” So they did. Before they left the Supervisor told them they’d be doing the exact same thing tomorrow, but they’d get a raise of $16 dollars an hour. The next morning only 50% of the remaining students came back and did the exact same thing. After lunch they were told to fill the ditch back up with dirt. They asked “Why?” and the Supervisor told them “Don’t ask questions, just do it.” So they did. Before they left the Supervisor told them they’d be doing the exact same thing tomorrow, but they’d get a raise of $21 dollars an hour.

So..well you get the point, every day the sum of money got bigger but the number of students decreased. Basically, the moral of the story is that the students weren’t feeling fulfilled with this job, so even though they made a lot of money they felt as though what they were doing was meaningless and eventually quit. The story really resonated with me because that’s what this summer job is for me. I’ve only been here for 3 weeks and everyday I pretty much dread coming to work. I thought my Aunt didn’t understand what I was feeling but after this story I’m starting to feel like she might. She basically told a co-worker that I was lazy to get that co-worker to stop giving me tasks (I stayed at work ‘til 8:30PM once)..umm I guess her heart was in the right place, but I’m not lazy. When I’m working I try to put 110% of my energy to whatever I’m doing. I may not like it but I’m doing it. Yes, I am a different generation from my Aunt and co-workers. I don’t want to work this job, not because of the tasks I’m given, but because it doesn’t give me any personal enrichment. I work for free sometimes doing consulting work and running this street team and planning our marketing campaigns…even though it is free, I still do it because I want to. Because I like it. I don’t want an office job because I don’t belong at one. Not because I don’t have a work ethic. I may not like to wake up at 6:30AM but I wouldn’t mind doing it if it meant I was doing something I wanted to do. Why should I settle for a job just because it pays more than my current job? Like many of my other family members, my Aunt doesn’t think that my work with music is a real job or should be considered a real job just because they don’t know anyone else who does it. It would probably be easier for them if I was a musician and touring but I’m a girl, touring with musicians and selling shirts. They think that’s all I do, but it isn’t and it’s not what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. I’ve found a team who I think values me. I hope they value me. And it is hard to find that.

Sometimes what my Aunt says contradicts how she treats my work..for example, during the same walk she was chastising a co-worker who just became a Managing Partner for talking down to some of the Legal Staff. She had said that they want to treat the Attorneys above all the other employers, but that’s not how things should be run. This true. She was saying how she used to make everyone, including the Mail girl feel really important because they are important to the overall team and the rest of her co-workers who were higher-up attorneys didn’t feel the same way. I wish she could apply that feeling to someone like a family member. I may be at the bottom of the ladder in a lot of people’s eyes but oh, well. I get to see the world and get paid to do it. I meet interesting people every day. I get to work for one of the most talented and knowledgeable musicians I know.

I’m happy and I’ve come to terms that I won’t make above $30,000 any time soon. Sad? Yes, but money is just something to buy material things with and I don’t need anything else but a roof over my head and friends.