blah

this is a sad and confusing time within my family. not my immediate family, thank goodness.. but it is sad to think there's a giant rift going on in your family and you are helpless to change things.

in other news, my mom is going on a cruise at the end of aug. with some of her girlfriends. i'm going to use that time to re-train my dad so that he's more appreciative of my mom. haha.

so much to do before i move to dallas (for the summer). and a little hesitant..since the person i'm staying with is one of the parties involved in this tiff (luckily, not with me hopefully). still planning on moving to austin in january/feb. i am starting to worry i won't have a job in sept. because the budget is tight and we just added a new band member. if not, how will i be able to ask for a raise or save up for a place? i'm really trying hard to move towards financial independence and that's kinda impossible without a job. people say it'll be easier once i move to austin to find jobs but how would i move to austin without money to pay rent? i wouldn't be able to do that on my own. i've been out of school for almost a month and both my parents have asked about grad school..ahh. all these uncertainties are leading to even more uncertainties and i can't plan anything when i don't know anything..

i would have had a ton of jobs to pick from if i had moved to boston or nyc..but i took a chance for austin and the people that i worked with for the past two years, hoping that all my work would have turned into something but it has backfired so far.

ulcer.